Archive for the ‘essay’ Category

Ronald E. Jeffries: Passion

Saturday, August 20th, 2005

Author: Ronald E. Jeffries

I was born for passion, passion in my work and the people relating to it. I have great success in building teams with a mission and getting things done, and some great failures in the trying. I’ve had people love me and had people hate me, and while I prefer the love by a wide margin, I kind of prefer either to indifference. Because I’m not about making indifference, I’m about making a difference.

That’s what I think this movement is about: making a difference. That’s what I want it to be about: making a difference.

Here’s what I try to be, and what I like to find in those around me:

  • I want to stay the course with the people who converse with me, not just drift away as if no longer interested.
  • I want to argue passionately without rancor, let you call me names in the morning and drink in peace and affection with me that night.
  • I want to hold others in the true respect that allows them to be what they are, act like they will, while working as hard as possible to influence them to try other things.
  • I want to give my ideas away, confident that my little gift will come back to me manyfold.
  • I want to try every way I can to communicate with my colleagues, to get my ideas across and to get their ideas back in return.
  • I want to honor the passion that people feel, to honor the strongly held beliefs and ideas of others as much as I honor my own
  • I want to crash-test those beliefs and ideas hard against each other, confident that even better ideas will come out of the testing.
  • I want to assume that we do this from love, that we care about each other, and that we welcome the crackle of real passion, real work, the real interaction of ideas.

I do my best to be that kind of person. And I want to be with other people like that. Thanks for being around.

Source here.

Die Beerdigung der Blumen

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005

“Die Beerdigung der Blumen” is the German version of a poem in the greatest Chinese long novel Dream of the Red Chamber which was written in 18th century. In the novel this poem is composed by the main character Miss Daiyu Lin. Daiyu lost her mother when she was six and then lived with her grandmother, whose family is one of the most prosperous and rich in the capital city of China (at that time). Born extremely sensitive, beautiful, intelligent and physically sickness-prone, Daiyu composed many tearfully sentimental poems in the novel. She fell in love with her cousin Baoyu Jia, but mainly due to her extreme defensive way of thinking and extreme sensitivity, her love is full of sorrow/worry/anxiety most of the time. This novel consists of more than a million words so it’s really impossible to summarize it in several sentences. Because of many really complicated causalities, Daiyu died in despair of love when she was still 16 or 18 (I’m not sure how old she was when she died). In short this novel is the best (not one of the best) novel I’ve read in my short life. Undescribably beautiful, in many aspects. (I did read quite a few foreign novel works….for German ones, I fell for Stefan Zweig’s Brief einer Unbekannte(Chinese version) when I was 15 or 16….) Compared to whatever I have read, Dream of the Red Chamber has the greatest aesthetic power. (Just my humble opinion)

This poem, Die Beerdigung der Blumen, die Beerdigung der Blumenwas written after Daiyu buring some fallen flowers into earth. The fallen flowers in the late spring brought much sentiments to the sensitive Daiyu. She was saying to the fallen flowers: “…Today you died with the unspoilt purity, I know not when would I die; Today I’m here buring you, who would be there buring me when I die?….” The original poem is beautifully sorrowful and musical, with many exquisite and great images. I saw this Germany translation by accident on the ‘net today, was a little bit amused….well, it’s proven again that poems can hardly be translated (R. M. Rilke’s poems are rare exceptions. Some Chinese translations of his poems are surprisingly deep, thorough and beautiful). I can sense the translator is trying very, very hard. If doing from scratch, I myself cannot do as 1/10 as well as she/he does. She/he is doing best to keep the German text literally loyal to the original. However sometimes the literal loyalty appears just funny in another language (German)….Too late now and I need to sleep, today I just copy&paste the original translation. I’ll try to modify it (if I really can) in a more meaning-loyal manner later when I get chance. There are many typos in the current version, I’ll correct them later.

An excellent piece of music was composed for this poem by Mr. Liping Wang in 1987. It’s marvelously harmonic with the sentiment in the poem. To have a good sense of the origin, you can download the music (mp3 format, 8.7 mb) here.

Die Beerdigung der Blumen

Übersetzer: Lang Lu

Alle Blumen sind bereits verwelkt, die Kronblaetter
fliegen am ganzen Himmel. Die feuerrote Farbe ist
schon verschwunden, ebenso wie der duftende Geruch.
Aber wer hat Mitleid mit ihnen?

Vor einem auf der Hoehe stehenden Pavilion haengt
die Weidenrute kraftlos und tanzt im Wind. Die
Weidenkaetzchen sind heruntergefallen und kleben
leicht am Stickvorhang.

Maedchen im Boudoir hat Angst vor dem Ende des
Fruehlings, im Herzen voller Kummer weiss sie nicht,
wo sie sie rauslassen soll.

Mit der Blumenhacke in der Hand habe ich das
Frauengemach verlassen. Obwohl ich es nicht uebers
Herz bringe, ging ich auf den gefallenen Blumen auf
und ab.

Die Weidenzweige und die sibirischen Ulmen
verbreiten ihren Duft. Sie kuemmern sich nicht um
schwebende Pfirsichbluehten und fliegende
Pflaumenblumen.

Pfirsich- und Pflaumenbluehten werden im naechsten
Jahr wieder bluehen. Aber niemand weiss, wer im
naechsten Jahr noch im Boudoir sein wird.

Das duftende Nest ist schon im Maerz gebaut. Die
auf dem Dachbalken lebenden Schwalben sind so
herzlos, sie kuemmern sich wirklich ueberhaubt
nicht um die schwebende Blumen.

Im naechsten Jahr, wenn die Blumen bluehen, kommen
die Schwalben wieder, um Schlamm zu picken. Aber
da sind die Menschen vielleicht schon gegangen. Der
Dachbalken ist leer und das Nest aus jener Zeit ist
schon laengst runtergefallen.

Dreihundertfuenfundsechzig Tage in einem Jahr, der
Wind wie Messer und Frost wie Schwert, zwingen sie
die Blumen.

Wie lange kann die stralende Schoenheit der Blumen
dauern? Wenn sie gefallen sind, dann sind sie sehr
schwer zu finden.

Waehrend die Blumen bluehen, kann jeder sie sehen.
Aber wenn sie gefallen sind, sind sie fast
unauffindbar. Dies macht mir, der auf dem Stufen
stehende, die Blumen beerdigende Mensch,
grenzenlose Truebsal.

Allein, mich an der Blumenhacke lehnend, weine ich
heimlich. Das auf den blumenlosen Aesten
verspritzte Traenenwasser hat Blutspuren
hinterlassen.

Der Kuckuck singt nicht mehr, es ist schon
Abenddaemerung. Ich kehre heim, die Kacke tragend
und schloss jede Tuer zu.

Das Lampenlicht scheint schwach auf der Wand. Ich
bin gerade eingeschlafen. Der kalte Regen klopft
am Fenster, selbst in Decken gewickelt, ist es
nicht warm.

Angenommen, man fragt mich nach dem Grund meiner
Traurigkeit. Ein Teil ist mein Hochschaetzen vom
Fruehling und ein anderer Teil ist der Aerger
ueber ihn.

Ich schaetze das lautlose Kommen des Fruehlings,
hasse aber sein heimliches Verlassen. Er kommt
ohne etwas zu sagen und geht ohne sich zu
verabschieden.

Gestern Abend hoerte ich ausserhalb des Gartens
ein trauriges Lied. Keine Ahnung, ob die Geister
der Blumen oder die Geister der Voegel gesungen
haben.

Egal, ob Blumengeister oder Voegelgeister, sie
werden hier nicht verweilen. Voegel sprechen
nicht und Blumen haben ihre Kronblaetter
geschlossen.

Ich wuenschte wirklich, mir wuerden an den Seiten
zwei Fluegel wachsen. Mit den Blumen fliege ich an
die Grenze des Himmels.

Selbst wenn ich an der Grenze des Himmels
angekommen waere, wo sollte ich den duftenden
Geruch verbreiteten Erdhuegel suchen?

Besser bewahre ich meine edlen Knochen in einer
Seidentasche und mit einem Haufen saubere Erde
stuetze ich meine Begabung.

Weil ich mit einem sauberen Koerper gekommen bin,
gehe ich deshalb auch sauber. Es ist immerhin
besser als mit Dreck am ganzen Koerper in einem
Teich steckenzubleiben.

Heute bist du gestorben und ich beerdige ich, aber
selbst weiss ich noch nicht, wann ich sterben werde.

Wenn ich heute die Blumen beerdige, werden die
Menschen mich auslachen und fuer toericht halten.
Weiss nicht, wer mich spater beerdigen wird.

Sieh dir den Anblick des Fruehlingendes und des
leichten Fallen der Blumen an. Er ist genauso wie
der Anblick des zukunftigen Aelterns und Sterbens
einer jetzigen juengeren Frau.

Wenn der Fruehling vorbei ist, wird die junge Frau
schon alt und schwach. Dann kommt der Augenblick,
wo die Blumen verwelkt sind und die Frau tot ist,
und keiner von den beiden sich um den anderen
kuemmert.

Piano: with Tenderness

Thursday, March 24th, 2005

Can’t remember how long ago did I have the tender feelings of April breeze, on a half-dark yet cristal clear morning.

Code is code, after all. My passion for bits and bytes is fragile. Tired. Bored. And the crazy punky rocky music from other appartments in this dorm area only drove me tireder and more bored.

Video player turned on. It was the random file I came up with: a 10-episode Japanese cartoon called Piano. It was like an unspoken dream lost many years ago now became tangible. I had such crushes deep down in heart for every character in this cartoon.

Story is pretty simple: An 8th grade pupil Nomura Miyu was on her 6th year of learning playing piano from her instructor Mr. Shirakawa Sensei. Miyu’s best girlfriend Yuuki Chan fell for a boy at 9th grade and simultaneously Miyu started to have an eye on another boy at 9th grade. Two little girls started to exchange their feelings and developed deeper friendship. Miyu’s piano instructor had been hiding his love for Miyu’s elder sister Akiko for long, however Akiko works as a tour guide in Europe so they seldom have any chance to meet up. Shirakawa trains Miyu in his unconventional way which brought huge stress and depression to Miyu, for a while Miyu wanted to quit playing piano. However that was the very right way for Miyu. Miyu’s character got molt and finally managed to perform her real self in front of the people she love in a recital. Shortly before Miyu’s performance, her instructor met Akiko, who came back for her younger sister’s recital and told he’d start his destination-unknown trip over the world, he and Akiko hope they would came across each other some where, maybe in a narrow lane maybe in front of an acient stone wall.

It’s numerous exquisite details therein makes this cartoon sooooooo heart touching. Both Shirakawa Sensei and Nomura Miyu are very introvert but have rich and delicate feelings and strong passions underneath. Both of them are pretty cumbersome in words, piano is their tool to express themselves. One day Miyu’s cat got lost in the neighbourhood and Shirakawa sent it to Miyu. Normally this cat has big fear towards strangers but she slept well in Shirakawa’s arm, which indicated that Shirakawa in fact appears very often near Miyu’s home, if not everyday. However till the end of the cartoon, this fact kept unspoken. Shirakawa’s a top-notch young pianist with handsome appearance. Even his lack of words makes him appear cooler. These facts conquered many young girls’ hearts and they want to switch to Shirakawa’s class. But Shirakawa turned them down no matter how hard the other girls try. Superficially, he’s seldom nice to Miyu, frowns all the time, throws really harsh critiques at Miyu once in a while. However in fact his existence in that music school is solely for Miyu, who is Akiko’s younger sister. He knows Miyu too well and he has his way. One day Akiko was stressed out from work and escaped to home for a short vacation. She sent Miyu to her piano class and the two sisters said goodbye to each other in the taxi. Shirakawa saw it through the window of the classroom. When Miyu entered the classroom, surprisinglly her instructor was sitting in front of the piano and asked Miyu to listen: “Sometimes to listen is part of learning.” Then, a stunningly beautiful and passionate piece started to glow. Akiko heard it in the departing taxi, with a deep smile on her face. Akiko flied back to work right the second day. She called Shirakawa from Europe, asked him to take good care of her only sister. Shirakawa knew not what to say. Air frozen. His fingers started to dance on his knee, even though the knee is not a piano. Ach what romantic silence and what exquisite details! There are too many such details in the 10 serials (each serial lasts for 24 minutes), each character is lovely and has their unique style. Dialogs are never too much, every and each word counts 120%. It’s such a wonderful enjoyment to watch this cartoon. The most beautiful thing in this cartoon is, till the end everything remained unspoken. I think Akiko and Shirakawa in fact knew well about each other’s feelings but they kept it unspoken. Miyu’s prince-in-dream appeared in her recital, there was such bright glow in Miyu’s eyes! However when Miyu’s performance starts, the whole serial ends. Keats’ poem said Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter, one gets exactly what Keats’ means from the Piano cartoon. Imagination flies and boundless tenderness hovers around me, hour after hour.

Nowadays Japanese cartoons are easily got popular. Even a big German TV station (forget which) sends Japanese cartoons during the whole afternoon everyday for the children. But to my surprise, when I tried to google for more information, there was no clue for such a by-any-standard master piece. It reminds one the warmth of life and how pure and deep the love and friendship could possibly be. I know I’m going to watch it again and again. And I’m going to play it for my children.

The piece Miyu plays often in this cartoon is Waltz No. 7, Op. 64, No. 2 by Frederic Chopin. Beautiful. Each episode ends with a song with the lyrics below:

The capricious way today’s sky is…
It’s moving a little, just like me.
My friends all seem adult
Will I too, some day?
Listen to the sound of my heart…
However faint and unreliable it may be,
It can only be heard now.
To make someone smile,
I send it with my prayers.

In the Name of Conviction (part one)

Sunday, December 26th, 2004

Huiyin Lin (English name: Phyllis Lin) is one of my all time idols (the other is Prof. Dr. Jianxiong Wu, a great female physicist). In Chinese media, Phyllis has always been presented as a by and large sentimental female poet, involved in several sentimental love affairs, but no more. However, her poetries are sometimes full of inveterate tenacity and passion. That impressed me so much that I always had an eye on articles about her and her biographies. She is an incredible legend and, her stories made me believe that there does exist something worth one’s belief. On Dec. 22nd I got the original English book Liang and Lin: Partners in Exploring China’s Architectural Past by Wilma Fairbank from amazon.de. That may be the best Christmas gift I’ve got for myself.

the bookcover

I read the Chinese translation of this book years ago, it was written with heart. Maybe the best biography I’ve read so far. The author Wilma Fairbank is the wife of John King Fairbank, professor of History at Harvard University, the author of The United States and China. Both of Wilma and John were Liang and Lin’s close friends when they were alive. The Foreword of this book was written by Jonathan Spence, Sterling professor of History at Yale University. Spence’s The Gate of Heavenly Peace is another great book about the Chinese intellectuals in early 1900’s. Maybe I’ll write something about that book in my later blogs. I was deeply moved again, after reading Spence’s foreword for Wilma’s “Liang and Lin” book. I don’t have scanner, this article is inputted with my keyboard. During the typing, I changed all the names of Chinese people and Chinese location to standard Pinyin in order to make them be more easily referenced.


Foreword
(of the book “Liang and Lin: Partners in Exploring China’s Architectural Past”)

- Jonathan Spence

If we take only a distant, bird’s eye view of the history of China in the twentieth century, it is often hard not to see it mainly as a century of colossal waste: wasted opportunities, wasted resources, wasted lives. How could there be purposeful national reconstruction when the agonies of foreign invasion and occupation were compounded by such viciousness in domestic politics? How could a balanced economy develop when the poverty of the majority was deepened by greed-driven and uncontrollable entrepreneurs at certain periods, or by the state’s totalist extremism at others? How could individual acts of creation and intellectual exploration gain popular currency in a world of constant dislocations and fiercely unimaginative censorship?

The story of Liang Sicheng and Lin Huiyin initially seems to support such melancholy reflections. Myriad layers of society’s waste cluttered up and ravaged their lives, and at so many times the world simply gave them no room to breathe. But, as we ponder their story further, in all the moving and intimate detail provided by Wilma Fairbank, we become more conscious of the flashes of light that emanate from this strongly yet stressfully married couple. We heart bursts of laughter and the rattle of teacups in the living room jammed with friends. We see their patient scholarship slowly give back meaning to ancient architectural texts. We watch their skilled fingers guiding their drafting pens through the technical details in both Chinese and English, each written with equal elegance, and see vanished buildings regain their rightful place in a nation’s consciousness. We sense the humor and fortitude that never left them even during prolonged and debilitating illness.

Both Lin Huiyin and Liang Sicheng were born into the paradoxical China of the early twentieth century, where traditionalism crossed and coexisted with modernity. Lin Huiyin’s father was a talented political dreamer, a seeker of the new, who took two concubines to give him the children his principal wife could not. Lin Huiyin, the elder concubine’s only surviving child, received a good if informal education, and when her father was posted to England in 1920 as a director of China’s League of Nations Institute he took the sixteen-year-old Huiyin with him to be his companion and hostess. But when the poet Xu Zhimo fell flamboyantly in love with her her father took her back with him to China, so that she would be once more in the same environment as Liang Sicheng, the son of Liang Qichao, to whom Lin Huiyin had already been informally engaged.

Liang Sicheng had been born in Tokyo in 1901, during his father’s enforced exile from the waning Qing Dynasty. When the Qing fell in 1912, the Liangs returned to China, where Liang Qichao lived a life of intellectual eminence and of attempted political activism in the bewildering years of the early Republic. Sicheng was sent to a Westernized preparatory school and a Westernized college, while also being rigorously tutored in classical Chinese by his father, and made to translate H. G. Wells’s Outline of History into Chinese. In 1923 an accident while riding on his new Harley-Davidson motorcycle, compounded by inept medical attention, left Sicheng partially crippled and forced to wear a steel back brace. Huiyin, now formally engaged to Sicheng, had nonetheless renewed her friendship with the poet Xu Zhimo, who had returned to China as a lionized young poet. Together they arranged for Fritz Kreisler to give violin concerts in Beijing, and translated for the Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore when he came to China on a lecture tour.

At Liang Qichao’s urging, Huiyin and Sicheng traveled together to the University of Pennsylvania – engaged yet forbidden to marry until they completed their degrees. There, in the Beaux-Arts universe of 1920s Philadelphia, Sicheng studied architecture, Huiyin studied fine arts, and both lived through a period of emotional and personal anguish that Liang Qichao referred to as their private “Buddhist hell.” Apparently strengthened, if not purified, they were at last married in Canada in 1928, returning after some further graduate work to be first two professors at the newly founded school of architecture in Shenyang (Mukden).

When Wilma and John Fairbank, themselves newly married, met Huiyin and Sicheng at a Beijing Party in 1932, the Japanese military aggression in Manchuria had forced the Chinese couple out of the Shenyang school. Huiyin had had two children (a girl and a boy) and learned she had tuberculosis. Xu Zhimo, once again openly welcomed as a house guest, had died in a plane crash. Liang Qichao too had died, after a tragically bungled kidney operation, and Sicheng had plunged into the scholarly analysis of early Chinese architectural texts, using former Forbidden City carpenters and craftsmen as his exegetes. In this chaotic, work-filled, and ebullient period, the Liangs – on one prolonged occasion accompanied by the Fairbanks – embarked on the first intellectually orchestrated series of field trips in search of China’s earliest surviving buildings that had ever been undertaken. Their greatest triumph was the identification, measuring, drawing, and photographing of the Fuoguang Si, a wooden temple dating back to A.D. 857 in the Wutai Mountains area of Shanxi province. But this was only one of the numerous astonishing discoveries that were encapsulated after long years of work and interruptions in Sicheng’s great book A Pictorial History of Chinese Architecture, lovingly reassembled from scattered fragments and edited into an integrated whole by Wilma Fairbank.

Though the Fairbanks’ and the Liangs’ lives inevitably diverged again in the later 1930’s, Sicheng’s and Huiyin’s friendship with Wilma and John continued by letter; one of the many treasures of Wilma Fairbank’s memoir is that we hear Huiyin’s voice through the illness, the work, and the renewed misery and relocation caused by the full invasion of China by Japan in 1937, and the flight of the Liangs, first to Changsha and then to Kunming and Chongqing in China’s southwest. For Huiyin this was not only a world of loss and horror but one of “delicate bare braches that scatter silver, small quiet temples, and the occasional bridge one can cross with romantic pride” (see p. 91 below). Rasping with tuberculosis and shivering with cold in dank lodgings, Huiyin could still note how “the sun steals in curious angles into one’s aching sense of awareness of quietness and beauty” p. 112).

The last year of the war briefly brought the two couples together in Chongqing, but from then on they were never to be all together again. Civil war, Korean War, Cold War, and then death (in 1955 for Huiyin, 1972 for Sicheng, 1991 for John) ended the meetings. But Liang Sicheng and Lin Huiyin continued to try and do what they could for the architecture they had tracked and loved – to save the old Beijing as a wooded, leaf-filled city, to keep it free from industry, to preserve the wondrous walls and gates as public parks for all posterity to love and enjoy. They failed. They were struggled against, tormented, humiliated. And then, posthumously, when it was all too late, showered with praise and recognition.

We remember, of course, what we want to remember, as well as what the sources let us. So we can continue to hold in our hearts, if we wish, the nightmare sight of Liang Sicheng in the Cultural Revolution, his face clouded in “utter humiliation and shame” as he stumbles among the jeering crowds with a black placard round his neck, declaring his “treason” to the people. But for me, thanks to Wilma Fairbank, that image is pushed aside by little Sicheng, swimming underwater in the sea off Japan, trying to tweak the beard of the self-proud philosopher Kang Youwei, and by the formalistic and aesthetic elegance of his drawings and calligraphy. And instead of Huiyin dying of tuberculosis in the chill Beijing of 1955 as the last of the grand old walls came crashing down, I watch her smiling wryly in the crowded living room of her Beijing home in 1932, amid children and friends and noise and laughter, and unfinished poem on her desk, the upcoming month’s itinerary to unknown temples a millennium old dancing in her mind. And I see Liang and Lin jolting along, by train, truck, and mule cart, down mud tracks where city folk had rarely gone, until we and they climb at last among the roof beams of China’s past, feel the cunning wood under our fingers, and marvel at the touch and precision of an art that might have been forever lost.

Yale University
November 8, 1993